Wisdom teeth

Right now I am really craving pizza.
What I have eaten these past 2 days:
- Danimals smoothies
- milkshakes
- yogurt (I think I'm sick of yogurt for the first time all year)

I am really cold and am craving some tomato soup. But we don't have any.

Love this wisdom teeth experience. I feel like I've lost brain cells over the amount of movies I have watched.

Have a good day!

There's something about...

I can't sleep, so I'm going to write.

There's something about

• a song that just relates to you in so many ways.
• 3 road trips back and fort to Arizona within 2 weeks days
• mountains.
• tall boys.
• Michael Buble's Christmas album.
• meeting a new person.
• opening up to people.
• letting people open up to you, and letting yourself love them, despite everything.
• realizing how wonderful and kind everyone is to you when you're having a bad day
• receiving a Father's blessing.
• a full moon.
• sunsets.
• coming to a realization that you hope you won't forget.
• boys with accents ;)
• voxing your mom and your aunts and your Grammie.
• waking up to a text from a friend telling you to read a scripture that you really needed to read
• speaking in another language.
• pulling multiple "all-nighters."
• breathing in fresh air.
• culture. pure culture.
• photography and capturing instant moments so quickly.
• having 20 panic attacks every 5 minutes and realizing how annoying that must be.
• watching your little brother play basketball.
• holding a door open for someone.
• finally letting all of the tears out at once.
• mom's homemade apple and berry pies.
• realizing you might have made a difference in someone's life.
• being humbled by all the people who have made a difference in your life.
• talking to one of your best friends on the phone till 2:30 in the morning, getting food with them, and knowing they will always be there for you.
• lying in your bed, wanting to sleep, and desperately praying for hours on end that your heart will stop beating so fast and you will calm down.  And then actually falling asleep.
• Mumford and Sons
• rekindling meaningful friendships
• loving others
• talking with your roommate way too late into the night
• the beautiful power of prayer
• a personal relationship with my Savior
• writing a blogpost while your adorable roommate snores on the couch
• realizing it's really late and I need to go to bed

This was super random and jumbled.  But I'm grateful for everything I have.  And although school is overtaking my life and causing me more stress than necessary, I am grateful for my family and friendships, and I know that in the end, it is the relationships we build with others that matter.

life right now

I love my Savior.

I love His gospel.

I love His prophets.

I love the Bible.

I love studying the New Testament.

I love the Book of Mormon.

I love my family.

I love my roommates.

I love my friends.

I love my job.

I love my freshmen.

I love my height.

I love my long hair.

I love my new phone.

I love fall.

I love the rain.

I love everything related to pumpkins.

I love colors. 

I love leaves.

I love the mountains.

I love wearing blazers.

I love pumpkin chocolate chip muffins and cookies and cake.

I love discovering new music on Spotify.

I love Mumford and Sons.

I love having a clean room.

I love meeting new people.

I love to smile.

I just love life right now.

We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together

So I'm in this video for like one second.  But Karina and Ellie are very much featured in it.  And Eric is in my ward - so DUH I have to share it :)

Watch! Share! Boost of the views! Check out Eric Thayne on youtube :)

curse of breaking things

I have a curse.  No really, I do.  And while I write this I can't even laugh at myself anymore.  I just want to cry.

It all began with my Dell computer a year ago.  Don't even know what happened, it just decided not to turn back on again.  Started making weird beeping noises and overheating.  I lost everything.  After a couple weeks without a computer I decided to rent from BYU.  Let's just say I went through SIX of them.  Same sort of thing, they decided not to turn on.  One couldn't hold a charge for more than five minutes.  Sometimes I would back things up, other times I forgot to back some stuff up.  So I hardly have any papers or anything I wrote from my freshman year of college.  After going through six PCs, I bought a Mac.  Haven't had any problems whatsoever.

But the computers are only just the beginning.  I dropped my phone in water.  Oops.  Had to borrow someone's.

I went on a bike ride on Karina's bike.  Crashed it.  Broke the tire.

My ipod.  Kept deciding not to play stuff and the computer finally didn't recognize it anymore.  It's dead.  Maybe it got dropped too many times, I'm not sure.

I crashed my family's car on the way home from Utah (sorry, guys).  This one really isn't that funny, more like traumatizing.  But my roommates still insensitively laugh at me about it.

When I came back from AZ to Utah this year, my camera all of a sudden had a lens error.  No idea where that came from - it was working in the airport and decided not to work once we landed in Utah.

When I was in California I dented a bike rack.

And now, just yesterday, I wake up and my phone decides to completely die on me.  The touch screen is fried.  It lasted me so long....like 8 months.  That's a record.

So now I'm phoneless, without a camera or an ipod.  My computer still works, thank goodness.  And I was smart enough to get insurance on it just in case.

I also seem to have a problem with breaking toilets too.

I know material things aren't what make life wonderful.  But I like having working electronics.
I have a problem.  I swear, I don't throw my phones against the wall or smash my cameras with hammers.  Maybe I'm clueless, maybe there's some rule to technology everyone in the world knows about except me.  If there is, could you please tell me?  Because I'm sick of this.

I think I'll go cry myself to sleep now :)

Remembering Names

“Remember that a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

- Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People

For the past couple of weeks, I have started my new job as a Peer Mentor through BYU's Freshman Mentoring program.   As soon as I came to BYU a year ago and met my peer mentor, I knew it was a job I would love participating in.  Being a mentor at Chandler Prep and being the oldest of seven children, I have always found myself in that "mentor" role.  I'm an Anthropology major, so I love to meet people, get to know them, and understand them.

Getting ready for New Student Orientation brought some anxiety but mostly excitement.  I had been training to meet these students for so long, and I finally got to meet them and get to know them!  And once I did, everything became so tangible.  Names became faces, and the real work began.

Now, something I don't like to admit - I can't remember names.  I will recognize so many faces around campus - of people I've never even met.  I have a favorite couple I see walking around everywhere, but they probably have no idea who I am.  She works in the Science and Maps section of the library, and they're quite adorable.  I know their faces, but I could never tell you their names.  With this lack of a gift that I have, I was worried about NSO.  For the days before it, I kept praying that I could remember names.  I still keep praying for that.  Because "a man's name is to him the sweetest and most important sound in any language."

I mean, honestly, if someone calls me by my name, I feel valued.  They know my name; they remember me.  And I would hate to make someone feel like they are not valued by not remembering their name.  And guess what?  I am remembering names so much more now!  A simple prayer that has been answered and has strengthened me.

God knows each of us by name.  He can name all of his children by name.  Jesus Christ suffered for each of us individually.  He knows our name, our deepest fears, our happiest joys, and our hardest trials.  My burdens are His burdens.  And when I can't sleep at night when I'm thinking about my students, because I care so much about them already, I know Christ has mine and their burdens too.  I love Him, and I am eternally grateful that He will forever know my name.

How Great Thou Art

O Lord my God, When I in awesome wonder,

Consider all the worlds Thy Hands have made;

I see the stars, I hear the rolling thunder,

Thy power throughout the universe displayed.

Then sings my soul, My Savior God, to Thee,

How great Thou art, How great Thou art.

When I look at the stars, overlook a valley from the top of a mountain, or admire the detail of delicate butterfly wings, I am in “awesome wonder” God’s creations and perfect love.  Surrounded by nature, I am humbled by God’s magnificence and cannot help but thinking, “How great Thou art.”

Glacier National Park - Montana

Whitefish, Montana Summer 2011

Singing the words to “How Great Thou Art” is a “prayer” (Doctrine and Covenants 25:12) unto my “Lord my God.”  

 Jesus Christ, the Anointed One, is manifest throughout all of His creations.  His light is throughout the world, and sometimes we fail to recognize and be humbled by this.  I am very grateful for the beautiful world that surrounds us, and I know that Christ’s light is throughout the world.  The simple beauties that surround us testify of Christ, and all things point to Christ.  If Christ is the center of our lives, then all of our questions and doubts can be answered.

on-campus to off-camps shock

The New Heritage Halls were wonderful. (Click to see pictures of them). They were beautiful and I have nothing bad to say about them ever.  We were the first ones to live in them. They were spacious and clean and wonderful.  Never-been-slept-in beds, never-been-sat-on couches, never-been-flushed toilets, and never-been-used showers.

Then I look at my off-campus apartment for this year - much, much cheaper in rent - and we're gettin that quality.  I have to say when we toured the apartment I did not think it was all that bad.  It looked pretty clean and livable.  Probably because we didn't look in all the nooks and crannies.

I am scared to SHOWER in the bathrooms.  Seriously - how many people have showered in there?  How much hair has been lost by how many girls in those drains? I'm also taller than the shower so I have to bend my knees a whole lot :(  How would boys shower in those? (well, tall boys).
The carpets have apparently been cleaned but they don't look like they've ever been replaced in the last twenty years.   There is this apparent odor throughout.  The air conditioning is slightly....NOT WORKING. Luckily this isn't Arizona or I'd be out of there in a heartbeat. Even though it does feel like it's 95 degrees in there.
There are areas of this apartment that don't look like they've ever been dusted.  How did the previous people ever get away with cleaning checks?  The inside of the cupboards are all stained.

Last night I made a Target run (while getting lost multiple times along the way) to pick up some necessities for the apartment.  Like a fan, shelf-liner, air fresheners, and some basic cleaning supplies.  We bleached all the insides of the cupboards.  I don't even want to touch the showers.  Guess I'm going to break out those early morning custodial skills once again!

Now onto the good part.
This apartment is very close to campus so  I can walk no problemo.   Everyone that we've talked to says the ward is very social and fun.  I get to live with all of my same roommates from last year.  Once we turn this apartment into a home we'll be all set.  We can make this apartment wonderful and make our experience fun because WE are wonderful and fun.  There is an upstairs where all the bedrooms are so if I want to go to bed earlier there will be less noise.  And, there are much worse apartments out there.  For the price we're paying, we really can't complain.

Pictures to come soon...

Have you ever lived in an apartment that wasn't very livable?  How'd you make it your home? Stories and suggestions please :)

Clark Kent

I've had this blog-post sitting in my drafts folder ever since I watched all four Superman movies featuring Christopher Reeves and the 2006 version Superman Returns with Brandon Routh in California with Seth, Isaac, and Aunt Sarah.  After that movie marathon I fell in love with Superman.

this is Brandon Routh with his "hipster" glasses
see - he's just as attractive as superman!
haha - he IS superman.

See, something I've always found fascinating about all superhero movies in general is that the public needs a hero.  Gotham needs Batman.  Metropolis (or the whole world, I suppose) needs Superman.  These heroes are their Saviors.  And although there aren't any superheroes around these parts flying and catching reports and helicopters, we have everyday heroes that mean so much to us.  We find hope in our heroes.  And since we put so much hope in our heroes, we need to have good heroes.  Not the amazing basketball superstar Kobe Bryant or baseball legends that end up being on steroids.  We can find our heroes in the good people around us.  Our grandparents, parents, aunts, uncles, mentors, professors, siblings, prophets, and pastors.  And we can find the hero in ourselves, too.

My favorite superhero is Superman.  I love Clark Kent too.


I fell in love with the movies featuring the 6'4" Christopher Reeves (I mean, 6'4" tall, dark, and handsome - I'm not gonna complain).  I fell in love with the superhero Superman - he's now officially my favorite one.  And I also fell in love with Superman's alter-ego Clark Kent.

Christopher Reeves as Superman.
His only disguise - glasses. It fools Lois Lane.

I mean - some people need a superman in their lives, but give me a Clark Kent and I'll be happy.  I find his hipster glasses quite attractive, actually.  I never quite understood what he saw in Lois Lane, either.

Superman's only weakness is Kryptonite.  He can take a bullet to his eyeball.  You can shoot him with anything and he'll be fine.  He can pick absolutely anything up. And, that's pretty cool. I also think he's the one with the most good in him.  Every hero has his tragic flaw, and his is Kryptonite.  Which Lex Luther uses to his advantage every time.

Clark Kent is just adorable. He's smart (well, the glasses make him look smart at least), kind, caring, and sensitive.  And underneath all that is the Man of Steel.  Clark Kent is like the kid next door who's quite attractive but you never give him the time of day because he's just too nice.   And although Clark is quite clumsy I find that quite endearing.

And yes, I know Clark Kent/ Superman doesn't exist in real life. But someday I'll find my Superman.  Or my Clark Kent :)  Yes - someday I'll find my Clark Kent.

some quotes and some change

do you like the title of my blog?  because I'm considering changing it.  I love my title, I just don't know if people can remember it because it's in Latin.  But the more I think of it, I'll just keep it :)

My mom found this quote, and I think it describes just what I'm trying to do on my blog.

Emily Dickinson: "Forever is composed of nows."  I'm writing about the different "nows" I am experiencing in life.  So, if I suddenly have a new blog that has something to do with that quote, don't be surprised.

Another Emily Dickinson quote I like:
"I dwell in possibility."  My Grammie always says that.  Life presents so many different possibilities, and by dwelling on all of them we remain open-minded.

This is what we call the real world, children.

I feel like I'm being pushed into the real world all at once.  Yes, I know I already went through my first year of college.  But somehow, my second year seems to be more of the "real world."
Like paying for something that equals weeks worth of labor.
Submitting health insurance information - I know nothing about my health insurance, I'll admit it.
Researching credit cards.
Figuring out all of my tax information.
Talking about setting up a type of 401k plan.

But, there's still a long way to go before I'm really in the real world.  I realize that.

Some outcomes of my summer

All of these things have a story behind them.  Deeply personal stories, but these are the outcomes.

This summer has reaffirmed some things for me. Such as:

- I know my major! (Anthropology, as it has always been)

- I am going to backpack Europe sometime in the future. 

- Someday, I will have children of my own.  Just not all at once.

- I love Seth, Becca, Isaac, Rachel, and Jack.

- California weather is heavenly when you live right next to the beach.

- I can do hard things.

- I crave adventure, but I fear it.

- I have been living in another world.

- Life is short. Embrace each moment.

- Be a listener.

- Just be myself.

Heavenly Father answers prayers, even if we don't expect Him to.  And learning of all of these things, in some roundabout way, has been an answer to my prayers.

Some Pictures with The Little People

Complements of Photo Booth

I'm not you, I'm me.

Rachel wanted a purple popsicle.

Isaac wanted a red popsicle.

So Rachel wanted a red popsicle.

Isaac was upset - he didn't want Rachel to copy him.

"You can't have a red popsicle! I'm having a red popsicle!"

Rachel then replied, "I love you - that's why I do the things you do!"

Isaac changed his mind after Rachel said that, and then they walked outside eating red popsicles.

Becca said confusedly, "I thought you two were fighting."

They responded, "We love each other, so we want the same popsicle!"

 The other day after going to the park and when we were driving home, I overheard Isaac and Rachel having a conversation similar to the one they had earlier.

Isaac: "How are you doing?"

Rachel: "How are you doing?"

Isaac: "Stop copying me!"

Rachel: "Stop copying ME!"

Isaac: "Ra-chel :( STOP!"

Rachel: "Ra-chel :( STOP!"

Isaac: "Uugggghhh."

Rachel: "Uuggghhh."

Isaac: "I'm not YOU, I'm ME!"

These conversations reminded me of some childhood thought processes I have.
My memory of my childhood is interesting - I remember thoughts I had more than specific events.
I remember being very intrigued by the "Freaky-Friday" idea - what would it be like to be another person?  But then that confused me because it would still be my brain would be trapped in someone's body - I wanted to know what it would be like to be someone else - to think like them and to see things the way they see them.

"You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view - until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." - Atticus Finch, To Kill a Mockingbird

Ever since I read this book in eighth grade, (and I believe I even wrote my five paragraph essay on this subject - this was the attention grabber) I have remembered this quotation. 
I know I do this all of the time in my every day conversations.  I process how the other person is processing what I am saying or what I could potentially say...I try to walk around in their skin and think about how what I'm saying could make them feel.  This is one of my greatest strengths and one of my greatest weaknesses.  I try to really know people, to not judge them.  I want to see their perspective on something.  But then they ask me for a favor, and because I don't want to offend them, I can't say no. Strength and weakness :)  Sometimes I read way too much into other people.  I try to understand them so much that start becoming offended for no reason at all.

At the same time, I don't want to actually be anybody else besides me. I can think like you, empathize with you, understand you, but I am me.  I am uniquely Emma, and I always will be.

Like Isaac's conundrum with Rachel, she was copying him because she wanted to be like him, he just wanted to be himself, no one else. (I've been talking to him a lot about this too.  When you hit Rachel, how do you think it makes her feel?  Would you like it if someone hit you?)

What I've taken from this?

Before you climb around in someone's skin and walk around in it, know yourself.  Know that "I'm not you, I'm me."
Once you know yourself, look at life from all sorts of perspectives.  Know that there is a lens in front of you and how you see life.  Then try on a bunch of different lenses.
Be open-minded.
Just don't forget yourself and what you stand for.  Sometimes, you might find that open-mindedness can change your original lens.  Don't be afraid of that.  Embrace it.
Use those lenses to serve other people.  To love them.
Just don't forget yourself :)

Dodger Stadium

I went to Dodger Stadium - three weeks ago.  I know, I'm a little late on the blog-post.  I've never been before, and I've always wanted to (hence the bucket-list).  I am a Dodgers fan after all.  I finally got to sing "So it's root, root, root for the DODGERS, if they don't win it's a shame!"  

It was Mormon night at Dodger stadium.  Dieter F. Uchtdorf threw the opening pitch.  Alex Boye sang God Bless America somewhere in the middle.  So, even though I've heard that Dodger fans are terrible, they weren't on Mormon night!

I used to know the whole starting line-up when they had Manny, (I really was a fan), but I stopped following sports once I didn't have a TV in college. But I know Clayton Kershaw, Andre Ethier, James Loney, and Matt Kemp (my personal favorite).  

They played the New York Mets, and they lost. Big time.  I couldn't really pay attention to the game (but I wanted to, I really did) because we had five children with us.   We were in the All-You-Can-Eat bench seats (not what we had imagined), and more and more people kept coming.  So what was supposed to be 8 seats turned into 4 seats with children on all of our laps.  Lets just say some people threw some fits to the poor worker at the Dodger stadium, and I couldn't really pay attention to the game because I was too busy people-watching.

One of these days, I will go back to Dodger's Stadium and actually pay attention to the baseball game.  I won't sit in the All-You-Can-Eat seats, and I'll enjoy an All-American game of baseball.  

Go Dodgers!

(And if you were wondering, I despise the Lakers.  Hypocritical?  I guess.  Go Suns, beat L.A.  And as much as it doesn't make sense, I don't hate the D-backs.  Just when they're playing the Dodgers :) )

Gotta have my baseball hat.

Dodger Dog? It actually didn't taste that bad to me.

The Park

I'm sitting on a bed with a shower cap on my head because I am doing a deep-conditioning treatment.
I still have to unpack my suitcase.
3 road trips in 8 days? (Seriously.) Now that's a lot of road trips.
See I drove to Vegas (then I had a little accident) Thursday.
Then I drove back to Utah on Tuesday.
Then I drove to California on Friday.
And now I am privileged to be living with my aunt and uncle near the beach in the perfect weather with their five beautiful children.
I'll be back to AZ in August. Then ten days later I'm back in Utah for training for my job.  Then school starts and that's when life goes crazy but adventurous.


Today I went to the Park with the kiddos and I made some observations.

I want to go back to the days when my imagination was my life.  Give them a toy car or some mini angry birds and they can be entertained merely by their imagination.


Bubbles are the best thing ever especially when you can chase them and try to catch them in your mouth.

I finally found monkey bars that were tall enough for me today.  And when I tried to do them I couldn't.  Not because I wasn't strong enough but because it hurt my hands - they're not callused enough. {Meanwhile the children are climbing up and down and all around the bars without a second thought of it hurting their skin - it's fun!}

A kiss makes most owies feel better.

Trees that are climbable are impossible to pull kids away from.

I'm a scardy-cat compared to my cousins.

I wish I was bilingual so I could fit in with everyone else at the park.

Firetrucks are the coolest things ever.

I can't jump off of heights people ten plus years younger than me can.

When Making a Decision

The Road Not Taken

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference. 

Sometimes You Find Yourself in These Random Places

So that morning you wake up, expecting to go on a nice long solo road trip back to AZ.
You miss the turn.
You call your mom, feeling really stupid.
Your Uncle calls you to give you directions.
You decide to take the Vegas route.
On your way on the ramp down into Phoenix you make a little mistake.
You panic because the ramp has a sharp turn.  You graze the side.
You panic again.
So you over correct your turn.
And smash your car into the other side.
Then the air-bags go off and you think, is this really happening?
Then you say a billion little prayers in your head -simultaneously.  This IS possible.
The car comes to a stop.
You realize you're not injured, you're completely fine.
The car, isn't, though.
You follow what you learn the first day you can talk - call 911.
You don't start crying until you say the words "I got in a car accident."
They say, "Where are you?"
You tell them - but you're not from Las Vegas, you're very confused.
They re-direct you to highway patrol.
They're coming.
You call your mom.
You don't want to scare her since she's so far away but you don't know what else to do.
Luckily, you have another uncle that works 10 minutes away from where you are.
He comes to your rescue.
You feel really, really bad.  Because you just totaled a car.  And you thought you were a good driver.
Your neck is scraped from the seat-belt.
The policeman is really nice and says, "you're safe. it could have been a lot worse."
You have a ticket.
The car is towed away.
You go with your uncle, who takes care of you.
You go to work with him.
He buys you lunch.
You eat it a yummy salad with oranges and almonds and drink water and take deep breaths.
You go to your uncle's architecture office.
You think, I was not expecting to be here today.
You get a call from your dad, making sure you're okay.  Telling you they'll take you to the doctor just to make sure everything's okay.
You still feel really bad.
Because you're 19 and you wanted to prove that you were grown up and could do a road trip by yourself.  And this is gonna cost a lot of money.
You drive back to your uncle's house and are welcomed by a loving aunt and cousin with delicious dinner and homemade chocolate chip cookies.
You calm down.
You put some Neosporin on the scrapes you got on your neck and on your knee.
You talk about college and try not to think about the traumatic day.
You get a flight home from Las Vegas to Phoenix.
You sit in an airport and write about your traumatic day.
You think, I should have just flown home in the first place.
And you're eternally grateful for families who take care of you always.

Sometimes, you find yourself in these really random situations.  Doesn't that make life interesting?

Neal A Maxwell On Finals

When in situations of stress we wonder if there is any more in us to give.  We can be comforted that God, who knows our capacity perfectly, placed us here to succeed.  No one was foreordained to fail or to be wicked.  When we have been weighed and found wanting let us remember that we were measured before and found equal to our tasks.  Therefore, let us continue but with a more determined discipleship.  When we feel overwhelmed let us recall the assurances that Go will not over-program us.  He will not press upon us more than we can bear.

- Neal A. Maxwell

We read this in my Italian class in honor of finals week, and I thought it was quite applicable:)

A Good Day filled with Random Ideas

I should be studying for finals today, right now in fact.  But I'm so ready for my long-awaited summer vacation, it's hard for me to focus.
Today was a good day.
I woke up early.  I ran a 5K.  Jasmine ran a marathon.  So, I really feel quite unworthy of even saying that I ran a 5K.  But honestly, that's the farthest I've ever ran (without walking).  And that's embarrassing but it's a milestone for me.
Then Ellie, Hannah, and I went to go cheer on Jasmine as she finished her marathon.  It was amazing, seeing all those runners, knowing that they have been training so much for it.  It was inspiring, really.  Seeing people push through and not give up - mentally, physically, and emotionally.  And then to see people finishing and getting their medals and thinking they deserved so much more than that.
Then Ellie and I went to lunch, yum :) And then we talked at Jasmine's house for a couple hours, which is a lot of fun.  We talked about lots of things.  We talked about real things.  About life and love and the gospel and economics and the government and "what-if" communism actually worked and ideas.  Great people talk about ideas, not things, not people. (Eleanor Roosevelt?)
Then we watched Becoming Jane.
I love that movie.  It's real life. You know how it's going to end - it's Jane Austen.  While the movie might be fictional, the story is much different than any of Jane's characters' stories.  They're in love, but life won't let them be together. And her and her sister's pain is almost tangible.
Then, I went to dinner with my friends from my Italian class.  I ate bruschetta and gelato and tiramasu. Very, very delicious.  We tried to speak in Italian to each other the whole time.  And it was just so much fun.  We laughed and ate delicious food (which makes any situation amazing, right?) and talked more about life.  I felt young because two of the girls will be leaving on missions soon.
Life has so much more to offer me and so much more to come.
I'm excited.  Really.
Because I love life right now.  And although I hardly have my future figured out, my life right now is just wonderful.

Grazie, Ciao :)

Delicious Sweets I'm Determined to Enjoy

Courtesy of Pinterest :)

Orange Creamsicles

Reeses Brownie Cookies

Homemade Reeses Bars

French Toast Bake

Nutella Fudge Popsicles 

Lavoro, Gelato, e Italiano.

Today I worked for 8 hours. Oggi ho lavorato per otto ore.

I took a break in between for thirty minutes.  Mi fermo per trenta minuti.

I ate BYU ice cream. Ho mangiato il gelato BYU.

Yum. Delizioso.

In other news, Italian runs through my head all of the time.  I'm starting to realize how hard it is to switch between different thinking processes.

Mi piace l'Italiano.  Oggi, ho studiato per l'esame con la mia amica.  Abbiamo studiato e abbiamo parlato per un ora.  Quando prendo l'esame,  sono nervosa perche devo scrivere una storia :O
Ho fame per i cibi dolce. Zucchero...gelato. Delizioso!
Sto stanco, ma non posso dormire. Dunque, scrivo in Italiano per voi :)
Domani, io lavoro. 
Voglio viaggiare in Italia.  Devo viaggiare in Italia.

Thanks for reading my Italian and probably putting it into Google translate ;)  Those were just some basic sentences right there.  Learning to speak a language is difficult.  Latin is helpful, but speaking is opening up a whole new area in my brain.  It's amazing.

Hopeless

Confession: I'm a hopeless romantic.
Yes, it may be cheesy.
But, if I was in it, I'd love the cheesiness.

Why am I a hopeless romantic?
Because I watch scenes from Downton Abbey over and over again.
Jane Austen is one of my favorite authors.
Chick flicks are my favorite movie genre (there, I said it. Except really thought provoking, deep, philosophical movies. I like those too.)
I love love songs. Cute ones.  Deep ones.


I dream up cute dates I want to go on.  I want to be kissed in the pouring rain.  I want to be kissed in the snow.

Someday :)

A Couple of My Favorite (Secular) Things at the Moment

And yes, these favorite things at the moment may not be "hipster," but that doesn't mean I still can't like them.  And some of these may be dumb and slightly cliche and slightly out of character for me.  Still doesn't mean I can't like them.

Gotye's "Somebody that I Used to Know."
This may be the top song on iTunes and on the radio and on the charts, and it should be.  Why do I like it? It's so different.  The lyrics, while confusing, are pretty much awesome.






While I'm not quite a fan of the song, the lyrics from the song "Titanium" are catchy and sort of empowering(?) I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose, fire away, fire away.  Why I like these, I don't know.  Fire away at me? I'm not sure.

Phillip Phillips.
Especially two of his songs: "Home" and "We've Got Tonight."

And of course, I still don't go a day without listening to Adele's "Someone Like You."  But don't worry, I'm bulletproof ;)

Now on from music.
Downton Abbey.  Oh my goodness.  I love it.  I've re-watched two scenes over and over again.  Guess which ones?

My job.  Yes, I love my job.  I love talking to parents and students on the phone explaining the ins and outs of BYU's online system.  Yes, BYU has one of the most complicated websites out of all university websites in the United States.  But really, I do love my job.  I feel like I'm making a difference - I'm really helping people.

Spinning.  I'm in a spinning class, and while it's extremely difficult, it's really fun and kind of addicting.

Italy. Don't even get me started.  I WILL go to Italy.  I will visit everywhere and eat all of the delicious foods and see all of the historical sights and visit the Italian countryside and a cute little shop overlooking the sea.  Voglio viaggiare.   Devo viaggiare.  Devo viaggiare in Italia.  

Maps.  I like looking at maps and dreaming about going different places.
My pink/coral pants. These are some of the most comfortable pants that I own.  Nevermind the color.  They are comfortable.  I know I wear them every day, but they are comfortable.  Don't judge :)

Little things in life can make me happy.  Like an old map, a dream of traveling Europe, and a catchy song.   Oh, and Downton Abbey :)

An English Garden Party

A couple of weeks ago we had a "tea" party.  (It was really just lemonade.)

It was very fun.  We had a variety of delicious finger foods to choose from.  We had a real china set, compliments of Grammie, flowers, a fountain, and fancy English hats.

You see, I think it's wonderful that this is how my friends and I entertain ourselves :)  This is our kind of party.  We drink lemonade instead of tea, the music is the sound of the fountain and the wind, and our outfits are tasteful and English.  It's wholesome, uplifting, and fun.  Our conversation was lovely.

Afterwards, we watched BBC's movie version of Jane Austen's Emma.  It's four hours of joy.

I often say I was born in the wrong century.

But, as romantic as it seemed, women didn't really have rights.  So I'm glad I live in the current century :)

If you ever need the perfect setting for an English Garden Party, Grammie's backyard is the place.  The flowers are in bloom and it is beautiful.

The Menu:

- Strawberries and Cream

- Pizelles

- Cucumber Sandwiches

- Tarts with Lemon Curd and Raspberry Jam, topped with Cream and Berries.

- Peach Upside Down Cake

- Blueberry English Scones

- Delightful Mini Frosted Cupcakes

It was delicious, fun, and quite successful. We will definitely do it again some time.

Money, Money, Money.

Managing money is difficult.
I make money. I have a job.
Then I spend it.  I don't spend it on useless things. They're things I need.
Like gas.  And shoes. (No, I really do need shoes.  I've been wearing the same pair of shoes to school for the past year.)
I'll spend it on food, or lunch for myself.  Well, not very often, but sometimes.
I spend it on things like flashcards to memorize Italian words!
Oh, and then I had to pay my rent for next year ahead of time.

I have enough money to live, but I want to save my money for too many things on which I have to decide.

I want to travel Europe on my own.  Well, with about 6 girls.  (If you're interested, please let me know.  I want to backpack/ Eurail it.)
I think it would be way cool to do a study abroad/ field study in Italy (pricey).
I am preparing to serve a mission in a couple of years.
Someday, I'll get married, and I'll need money to do that.

But, there aren't enough hours in the day to earn money for all of these things!
It's okay, I'm not complaining.
As my dad reminds me, "We're weaning you into independence."  I guess money is where it starts...

This is life. I'm growing up.  And I can do it :)

This Thing Called Nostalgia

A year ago I graduated from high school.  It was a time of reflection, of thinking, "look how far I've come."  It was a time of goodbyes.  A time to celebrate.
A year ago, I received my diploma.  I participated in The Glass Menagerie.
It's funny, during this year I keep thinking, "Wow, only a year ago I was doing ______."
I wonder what I'll be doing a year from now.
Traveling Europe? Perhaps Italy? I think yes.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Now, this could go on and on and on and on about how wonderful my father is. So it will :)

My dad is 5 foot 11 and 3/8 inches.  He has be by a little about a half an inch, so yes, he is still taller.   Every time we see each other we measure just to make sure, but yes, he is still taller. As my father should be. (Mark's taller than me though!)
I have  many childhood memories of my dad, but here are a few that stick out to me. (And Dad, you probably don't remember.  It's the little things that count.)
I remember coming out of a store (I think it was Ikea) and being really cold.  I couldn't feel my hands because they were so cold.  Well, I remember my Dad grabbing my small little hands and taking his big hands and rubbing mine really fast so I could warm up.  It worked.  And the endearing moment is forever engrained in my memory.  As a little girl knowing my dad would always keep me warm :)
I was quite an imaginative child, and so I remember asking my dad what he would do if someone kidnapped me.  His response has always stuck with me -- he said he'd do anything he could.  He'd give them all his money, he trade anything to get me back.  And he still would, so thank you Dad :)
I remember driving back from Lake Powell in his blue Nissan Altima listening to Neil Diamond in the car.  Now I'm driving that Altima.
It wouldn't be fair if I didn't express my gratitude for editing all those papers. And when I say all,  I mean all.  My dad's finishing touches would bring a paper from an A- to an A. A B to an A sometimes.  No matter how late, my dad would stay up into the early hours of morning to help me with a paper.  Even in college, I'll email him a paper at midnight and he'll still look at it for me.  Now that's love right there. Thank you so much, Dad.  Seriously.  I don't know how to pay you back for all the editing you've done for me.
My dad is basically a genius.  Really -- he's good at everything. He's a hard worker -- everything he has he has worked very hard for.
Some of my favorite memories of my dad come from when he was my seminary teacher.  I can't express how grateful I am that he was.  I got to hear my dad bear his testimony with conviction every day.  I got to see him connect with students and wake up at the crack of dawn to teach them the gospel.  His love for the gospel is infectious.  His humility and gratitude for Jesus is personal and touching.  My relationship with my Savior grew so much when he taught me the New Testament and the importance of Christ's atonement.  His example made me strive to develop my own testimony and relationship with Christ, and it still does.

My dad has given me father's blessings -- times when I feel closest to God and receiving inspiration.
My dad is always willing to give me advice, about anything.  And I know I can always go to him for anything.
My dad has a great sense of humor (which he got from his Dad, my Grandpa).  It's so silly and not funny, that it's funny.  Like his elephant jokes. Hil-ari-i-ous.
My dad is a huge L.A. Dodgers fan.  It is the one team I will never change loyalties for.  I am a Dodgers fan, through and through.

My dad truly cares about people.  He stops to help the homeless, invites people for dinner (sometimes without my mom's permission), and is always willing to help out with anything.
My dad is (almost) always right. He's a lawyer.  He knows how to get his point straight across.
My dad loves my mom.  I'm really grateful for this.  Even though we all turn away when they're kissing in the kitchen, it's nice to know how in love they still are and always will be.
My dad loves all of his children.  I know he does -- he knows each of us, very well.  He prays for us, and implements rules that are only for our benefit.  I see that now that I'm gone.  That's right -- say, I told you so.  For example, my last half of my senior year he implemented all of these texting rules.  I'm kind of glad he did -- because now I realize how texting really doesn't make me completely live in the present; it doesn't let me fully focus on the current situation.
My dad loves our dog Zoe.  A lot.  And it's really sweet to see that side of him.
My dad is still quite young, really! He had me when he was 22 -- do the math.
To me, my dad emulates everything a man ought to be.  Really -- I know that if I can find a guy like my dad someday, I will be all set.  And that's a really high standard, but I'm keeping it there :)

I love you, Dad! Happy birthday! I wish I was there to celebrate. I hope you get some socks, since that's what you always ask for.

The Book of Mormon

As I finished up my freshman year, there was one accomplishment that I am definitely most proud of.  Along with realizing that I had done it, I had made it through the year without any broken bones or empty bank accounts (almost), I had done something much more significant.
I read the Book of Mormon.
I've read it before and gained a testimony of it, but never quite like this.  I read the Book of Mormon in my religion classes.  Yes, I was tested on it.  I wrote papers about it.  I looked at it as if it were literature.  And you know what?  It was quite amazing.  Heck, I didn't even get an A in Book of Mormon the second semester.  But I really don't care, because I learned quite a lot.  And that's all that really matters in the end, is how much you learned.
I want to tell you why I know the Book of Mormon is true.  Why I believe with all of my heart that it is the Word of God.
The Book of Mormon comes with a promise.
The prophet Moroni, at the end of the Book of Mormon, gives this promise to its readers:

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Moroni knew what was coming.  Moroni knew that there would be a lot of skepticism toward the Book of Mormon.  And that's completely understandable.  

Let me admit something -- I've doubted the truth of the Book of Mormon.  I continue to pray to know of its truthfulness each time I read it and ponder it.  But that's the beauty of this promise.  I don't remember when exactly, but there would be days at church where I'd leave and be questioning what I had learned that day.  The questions investigators ask missionaries all of the time were coming to my mind, How do you know it's true?  Did Joseph Smith just make this up?  Friends of mine would ask me these questions, and I'd give the cookie cutter answer, but inside, I knew I had to find out for myself.

Everyone receives answers to their prayers differently.  But prayer - prayer is beautiful.  It does everything  you'd ever need it to.  When I need comfort, I pray.  When I can't sleep, I pray.  When I don't know what to do, I pray.  When I need to make a choice, I pray.  When there's someone I know who's struggling, I pray.  When I'm happy, I pray.  When something super exciting happens to me, I pray.  When I'm scared, I pray.  Basically, I pray. A lot.  It's that knowledge that I am never alone.  He's always listening.

How do I get answers to my prayers?  Lots of different ways.  
When I pray to know if the Book of Mormon is true, I am filled with love.  I read it, and I love God more.  I love my family more, roommates more, my friends more, and even people I might be holding a grudge against that day.  When I read the Book of Mormon, I am filled with this overwhelming sense, feeling, and knowledge that this is true.

When I read the Book of Mormon this time around, that's kind of the focus I had in mind.  How can I get answers to my prayers?  How can I recognize the Spirit guiding me or comforting me?

And every time I read - something in there inspired me.  In some way, I received inspiration.  But I didn't really realize that till after, when I reflected on what I read or journaled about how I could apply the scriptures in my life.

To me, that's another beautiful part of the promise.  I strive for a sincere heart, really intent, and faith in Christ.  Applying the Book of Mormon to my life helps me develop my faith in Christ, and when I saw the changes I could make, or I followed promptings while I read - I was happy.

When I read the words of the Book of Mormon, I know they are true.  I don't hear a voice, and I certainly don't see any visions.  I just, know.  I read it, and everything inside me screams that it's right, it's true.  And when I strive to apply the principles in my life, I know they are true.  When I read the Book of Mormon, I experience the fruits of the spirit that Paul talks about in Galatians. 

The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.  That's why I believe it.  That is what witnesses the truth of it to me.  The Book of Mormon testifies of Jesus Christ's divine sacrifice.  Of His forgiving grace.  Of His atonement.  Here are two of my favorite verses from the Book of Mormon that touch me and remind me of Christ's infinite love for me:

Moroni 10:32

Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be ^eperfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
See, this verse is saying that only through Christ's grace may we become perfect in Him.  Christ does it all, when we let him.  Once we accept Him into our hearts, and show that belief through our love toward him, (If ye love me, keep my commandments), then we can be "perfect in Christ".  Only through His grace.

2 Nephi 25:26

And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

This verse really describes the purpose of the Book of Mormon.  To talk, rejoice, preach, and prophesy of Christ!

And these verses don't even skim the surface of the testimony of Christ's love and atonement testified of in the Book of Mormon.   When I read the Book of Mormon, I feel close to God.  I feel His love, through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ. 

There's so much more to it than I can put into words.  But I believe in the Book of Mormon with all of my heart.  And I want to share this with the world.

I've heard a lot.  I've heard a lot of reasons of why it can't be true from people.  I won't deny my testimony of it.  And please. Please. Don't say it's not true if you haven't read it.  That's not fair.  Take Moroni's promise before you tell the world it isn't. (Click here for a free copy of the Book of Mormon.)

I believe in the Book of Mormon; I know it's true.  It is something I am absolutely sure of.