This Thing Called Nostalgia

A year ago I graduated from high school.  It was a time of reflection, of thinking, "look how far I've come."  It was a time of goodbyes.  A time to celebrate.
A year ago, I received my diploma.  I participated in The Glass Menagerie.
It's funny, during this year I keep thinking, "Wow, only a year ago I was doing ______."
I wonder what I'll be doing a year from now.
Traveling Europe? Perhaps Italy? I think yes.

Happy Birthday, Dad.

Now, this could go on and on and on and on about how wonderful my father is. So it will :)

My dad is 5 foot 11 and 3/8 inches.  He has be by a little about a half an inch, so yes, he is still taller.   Every time we see each other we measure just to make sure, but yes, he is still taller. As my father should be. (Mark's taller than me though!)
I have  many childhood memories of my dad, but here are a few that stick out to me. (And Dad, you probably don't remember.  It's the little things that count.)
I remember coming out of a store (I think it was Ikea) and being really cold.  I couldn't feel my hands because they were so cold.  Well, I remember my Dad grabbing my small little hands and taking his big hands and rubbing mine really fast so I could warm up.  It worked.  And the endearing moment is forever engrained in my memory.  As a little girl knowing my dad would always keep me warm :)
I was quite an imaginative child, and so I remember asking my dad what he would do if someone kidnapped me.  His response has always stuck with me -- he said he'd do anything he could.  He'd give them all his money, he trade anything to get me back.  And he still would, so thank you Dad :)
I remember driving back from Lake Powell in his blue Nissan Altima listening to Neil Diamond in the car.  Now I'm driving that Altima.
It wouldn't be fair if I didn't express my gratitude for editing all those papers. And when I say all,  I mean all.  My dad's finishing touches would bring a paper from an A- to an A. A B to an A sometimes.  No matter how late, my dad would stay up into the early hours of morning to help me with a paper.  Even in college, I'll email him a paper at midnight and he'll still look at it for me.  Now that's love right there. Thank you so much, Dad.  Seriously.  I don't know how to pay you back for all the editing you've done for me.
My dad is basically a genius.  Really -- he's good at everything. He's a hard worker -- everything he has he has worked very hard for.
Some of my favorite memories of my dad come from when he was my seminary teacher.  I can't express how grateful I am that he was.  I got to hear my dad bear his testimony with conviction every day.  I got to see him connect with students and wake up at the crack of dawn to teach them the gospel.  His love for the gospel is infectious.  His humility and gratitude for Jesus is personal and touching.  My relationship with my Savior grew so much when he taught me the New Testament and the importance of Christ's atonement.  His example made me strive to develop my own testimony and relationship with Christ, and it still does.

My dad has given me father's blessings -- times when I feel closest to God and receiving inspiration.
My dad is always willing to give me advice, about anything.  And I know I can always go to him for anything.
My dad has a great sense of humor (which he got from his Dad, my Grandpa).  It's so silly and not funny, that it's funny.  Like his elephant jokes. Hil-ari-i-ous.
My dad is a huge L.A. Dodgers fan.  It is the one team I will never change loyalties for.  I am a Dodgers fan, through and through.

My dad truly cares about people.  He stops to help the homeless, invites people for dinner (sometimes without my mom's permission), and is always willing to help out with anything.
My dad is (almost) always right. He's a lawyer.  He knows how to get his point straight across.
My dad loves my mom.  I'm really grateful for this.  Even though we all turn away when they're kissing in the kitchen, it's nice to know how in love they still are and always will be.
My dad loves all of his children.  I know he does -- he knows each of us, very well.  He prays for us, and implements rules that are only for our benefit.  I see that now that I'm gone.  That's right -- say, I told you so.  For example, my last half of my senior year he implemented all of these texting rules.  I'm kind of glad he did -- because now I realize how texting really doesn't make me completely live in the present; it doesn't let me fully focus on the current situation.
My dad loves our dog Zoe.  A lot.  And it's really sweet to see that side of him.
My dad is still quite young, really! He had me when he was 22 -- do the math.
To me, my dad emulates everything a man ought to be.  Really -- I know that if I can find a guy like my dad someday, I will be all set.  And that's a really high standard, but I'm keeping it there :)

I love you, Dad! Happy birthday! I wish I was there to celebrate. I hope you get some socks, since that's what you always ask for.

The Book of Mormon

As I finished up my freshman year, there was one accomplishment that I am definitely most proud of.  Along with realizing that I had done it, I had made it through the year without any broken bones or empty bank accounts (almost), I had done something much more significant.
I read the Book of Mormon.
I've read it before and gained a testimony of it, but never quite like this.  I read the Book of Mormon in my religion classes.  Yes, I was tested on it.  I wrote papers about it.  I looked at it as if it were literature.  And you know what?  It was quite amazing.  Heck, I didn't even get an A in Book of Mormon the second semester.  But I really don't care, because I learned quite a lot.  And that's all that really matters in the end, is how much you learned.
I want to tell you why I know the Book of Mormon is true.  Why I believe with all of my heart that it is the Word of God.
The Book of Mormon comes with a promise.
The prophet Moroni, at the end of the Book of Mormon, gives this promise to its readers:

And when ye shall receive these things, I would exhort you that ye would ask God, the Eternal Father, in the name of Christ, if these things are not true; and if ye shall ask with a sincere heart, with real intent, having faith in Christ, he will manifest the truth of it unto you, by the power of the Holy Ghost.  And by the power of the Holy Ghost ye may know the truth of all things.

Moroni knew what was coming.  Moroni knew that there would be a lot of skepticism toward the Book of Mormon.  And that's completely understandable.  

Let me admit something -- I've doubted the truth of the Book of Mormon.  I continue to pray to know of its truthfulness each time I read it and ponder it.  But that's the beauty of this promise.  I don't remember when exactly, but there would be days at church where I'd leave and be questioning what I had learned that day.  The questions investigators ask missionaries all of the time were coming to my mind, How do you know it's true?  Did Joseph Smith just make this up?  Friends of mine would ask me these questions, and I'd give the cookie cutter answer, but inside, I knew I had to find out for myself.

Everyone receives answers to their prayers differently.  But prayer - prayer is beautiful.  It does everything  you'd ever need it to.  When I need comfort, I pray.  When I can't sleep, I pray.  When I don't know what to do, I pray.  When I need to make a choice, I pray.  When there's someone I know who's struggling, I pray.  When I'm happy, I pray.  When something super exciting happens to me, I pray.  When I'm scared, I pray.  Basically, I pray. A lot.  It's that knowledge that I am never alone.  He's always listening.

How do I get answers to my prayers?  Lots of different ways.  
When I pray to know if the Book of Mormon is true, I am filled with love.  I read it, and I love God more.  I love my family more, roommates more, my friends more, and even people I might be holding a grudge against that day.  When I read the Book of Mormon, I am filled with this overwhelming sense, feeling, and knowledge that this is true.

When I read the Book of Mormon this time around, that's kind of the focus I had in mind.  How can I get answers to my prayers?  How can I recognize the Spirit guiding me or comforting me?

And every time I read - something in there inspired me.  In some way, I received inspiration.  But I didn't really realize that till after, when I reflected on what I read or journaled about how I could apply the scriptures in my life.

To me, that's another beautiful part of the promise.  I strive for a sincere heart, really intent, and faith in Christ.  Applying the Book of Mormon to my life helps me develop my faith in Christ, and when I saw the changes I could make, or I followed promptings while I read - I was happy.

When I read the words of the Book of Mormon, I know they are true.  I don't hear a voice, and I certainly don't see any visions.  I just, know.  I read it, and everything inside me screams that it's right, it's true.  And when I strive to apply the principles in my life, I know they are true.  When I read the Book of Mormon, I experience the fruits of the spirit that Paul talks about in Galatians. 

The Book of Mormon is another testament of Jesus Christ.  That's why I believe it.  That is what witnesses the truth of it to me.  The Book of Mormon testifies of Jesus Christ's divine sacrifice.  Of His forgiving grace.  Of His atonement.  Here are two of my favorite verses from the Book of Mormon that touch me and remind me of Christ's infinite love for me:

Moroni 10:32

Yea, come unto Christ, and be perfected in him, and deny yourselves of all ungodliness; and if ye shall deny yourselves of all ungodliness, and love God with all your might, mind and strength, then is his grace sufficient for you, that by his grace ye may be ^eperfect in Christ; and if by the grace of God ye are perfect in Christ, ye can in nowise deny the power of God.
See, this verse is saying that only through Christ's grace may we become perfect in Him.  Christ does it all, when we let him.  Once we accept Him into our hearts, and show that belief through our love toward him, (If ye love me, keep my commandments), then we can be "perfect in Christ".  Only through His grace.

2 Nephi 25:26

And we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins.

This verse really describes the purpose of the Book of Mormon.  To talk, rejoice, preach, and prophesy of Christ!

And these verses don't even skim the surface of the testimony of Christ's love and atonement testified of in the Book of Mormon.   When I read the Book of Mormon, I feel close to God.  I feel His love, through the sacrifice of His son, Jesus Christ. 

There's so much more to it than I can put into words.  But I believe in the Book of Mormon with all of my heart.  And I want to share this with the world.

I've heard a lot.  I've heard a lot of reasons of why it can't be true from people.  I won't deny my testimony of it.  And please. Please. Don't say it's not true if you haven't read it.  That's not fair.  Take Moroni's promise before you tell the world it isn't. (Click here for a free copy of the Book of Mormon.)

I believe in the Book of Mormon; I know it's true.  It is something I am absolutely sure of.

Modest is HOTTEST (even in Arizona)

So this weekend I had the wonderful privilege of going home! (For three days...)  I flew home, got to sleep in a little, and had a chance to spend time with my family before Spring term starts.  (Spring term isn't part of the regular semester, it's like going to school for the summer. I chose to stay so I could work and take Italiano!)

This weekend I went home to Arizona.  As I stepped off the plane there was a blast of heat, something I'm pretty used to.  But it's April, I wasn't expecting it to be as hot as it was.  The next day was about 99 degrees, and for the rest of the weekend the temperature was in the low 100s.  It was HOT.  And it gets hotter, I know it does.   It has gotten much hotter before.  Heat isn't really an explainable phenomenon, you have to experience it.  Heat is like another presence.  It weighs on you; you can literally feel it pushing you in from all sides.  Your feet can't touch the asphalt, and if they do, you're doing a little dance.   You can't touch the ground for more than a few seconds without your feet feeling numb.  

Now on to my point.

It was hot.  Yes, I realize it was really hot.  That's why you stay inside.  But after leaving my BYU bubble, I was shocked and reminded of how lots of Arizona girls dress.  We went to the mall on Friday and Saturday, and it was like some of these girls were weren't wearing anything.  Seriously.

I could explain how they were dressed, but I'm not going to get into the specifics.  Let's just say I saw too much.

Friends from home have asked me why I dress the way I do during the Arizona summers.  "Aren't you so hot with all of that clothing?", they ask.  "You don't need to be self-conscious, you have a great body."

This is why I choose to be modest.

1st Corinthians 3:16-17.

Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

1st Corinthians 6:19-20

What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own?

For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God's.

My body is a temple.  I choose to dress modestly because my body is a gift from God.  My body is vital to my mortal experience on Earth.  It is one of the greatest gifts God has given me.  I want to treat it with respect.  For me, modesty is a physical manifestation of my love for Him.

I believe in Jesus Christ; I choose to follow Him.  I am His representative.  

Why do I choose to dress modestly?  Because I know who I am.  I am a daughter of God.  He loves me - he gave His life for me.  I am proud of my divine identity, and this is where I find my confidence.  

I don't wear short shorts because I am ashamed of my legs, I choose not to wear short shorts because I respect my body.  

These are my beautiful sisters.  When I was home this weekend, we took pictures of our modest outfits for church. It was 100 degrees outside, but we covered up :) Sleeves, knee length skirts, and beautiful smiles :)  

I'd say those are some gorgeous girls right there.  Some beautiful, modest girls.

Emma Watson, who played Hermione in Harry Potter, said:

I like this.  Less is more.  I don't know if I like the idea that "people can wonder," but I like the idea that we don't need to reveal ourselves to feel confident.

I choose to dress modestly because I respect myself.  

How I dress shows the world who I am and what I stand for.  I don't have to show every inch of my skin to be confident, as a matter of fact, it's the opposite.

And, if you're dressing that way to get guys' attention, those aren't the kind of guys you want to be looking at you anyway.  Wouldn't you rather someone be attracted to you because of your twinkling smile and glow that comes from within you?

The media makes it seem that women, in order to be accepted and regarded as pretty, should wear what they tell them to wear.  But that's just a part of it.  

An empowered woman is one who finds confidence in her inner light, in the knowledge of who she is.  

And even though it's 100 degrees outside, I still choose to dress modestly. Because I know who I am.  

Plato's Republic and the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics

For Plato, governments seem to have a natural progression. A just city will begin by establishing an aristocracy to guide itself toward the good. As those leaders lose sight of the good, focusing on their own power and desires, the aristocracy will rot into a timocracy, an oligarchy, and so on. It is almost inevitable that this occur. Once a tyranny is established, the next step is back to an aristocracy or otherwise just form of government. This can only occur when one who has experienced the good is willing to return to the cave as it were (an analogy Plato uses in Book VII) and direct the city. An instance of this occuring will be discussed. This progression can be applied to the process all energy on Earth goes through. It is all derived from the nuclear fusion occuring on the sun that makes it into our atmosphere. As energy is used and changed, it is transferred into different forms that are not as easily utilized. One could say that it is being corrupted. As energy is transferred throuugh different mediums, it becomes harder and harder to use efficiently. This is the natural order of energy until all energy is eventually turned into heat—a virtually useless form of energy. It takes no effort for anything to transfer energy into a more corrupted form, but in order for it to be converted up the steps of entropy, there must be a net input of energy. This process is uneasy and somewhat unnatural—like unto the idea of an unjust regime such as a tyranny evolving back into an aristocracy or an otherwise just form of government.
- Ryan Lanning


Just a little note from myself. I love Plato's Republic. (See side, "Favorite Books). When I read it in 11th grade, my mind was completely opened.
And connecting it to the 2nd law of Thermodynamics? Now THAT'S just awesome. Good job, Ryan. I had to put this on my blog. Because I love little nuggets of philosophical wisdom, especially connections between subjects that usually don't seem connectable. When you're a famous philosopher or politician one day, can I have your autograph?

April

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.
Winter kept us warm, covering
Earth in forgetful snow, feeding
A little life with dried tubers.
T.S. Eliot,  The Waste Land


For me, this April comes with:
- April Fools Day (a hard day for the gullible ones out there, like me. I've found I've become more gullible since coming to BYU.)
-General Conference
-Easter
-Finals
-End of an old job, start of a new one!
-Mission Farewells (My cousin Andrew!)
-My Birthday

It's funny, because last April I was on a choir trip to San Francisco and going to my senior prom. And it's kind of hit me how much my life has changed, how much I have changed.  This April, I'll be a sophomore in college.  I have made lifetime friends, my roommates.  I have learned so much about myself.  And more. (More reflection time to come later.)

Is April really the cruellest month? It's always been my favorite month, really. Easter and my birthday? Good stuff.
But now finals come with April, and the stress of 40 pages worth of papers due within the next 2 weeks.
Memories come with the month of April, memories of 18 previous Aprils.  With April comes spring, rebirth, and sunshine.
T.S. Eliot doesn't want a ressurrection, he just wants to remain numb, ignorant, and forgetful of all the pain he's gone through.
I'm not gonna be like that though, because with April comes new beginnings as the flowers begin to bud and the sun begins to come out behind the clouds.
It's a new season, a fresh start, and a different me.

My Latest Favorite Treat

I love Greek yogurt.  I love it.  It's like ice cream.  Except healthy.  And delicious.
And Chobani yogurt - it's amazing.
I'd recommend it.
 

The Invisible Custodian

When you're walking the hallways and a custodian is cleaning it, you kind of ignore them, right? You don't really mean to, you just know they're doing their job and you don't want to disturb them. You walk around them, hope you don't trip over their chord, and then don't give it a second thought. Not even one thought.  You just keep  on walking, and you probably couldn't even picture that custodian's face 20 minutes later.

Hey, guess what? I'M a custodian now. Yup. I got a job. And guess what time it's at? From 5AM to 8AM. It's a perfect fit for me, since I'm such an early morning person. NOT. You  know, my inability to sleep at night totally helps me get up in the morning as well. 4 1/2 hours of sleep is completely normal and I love being tired all day.
But, in all seriousness, I'm actually quite grateful to be a  custodian.  Because cleaning is money.  Easy money.  The job is monotonous and repetitive, which is kind of comforting.  It's a time for me to think and have breathing space.

It's funny though, how invisible custodians are.  You kind of ignore them, because they're doing their job, right?  One time, someone did help me unplug a chord and plug it  back in.  That was very much appreciated.
How many times in class have you dropped something or ripped off some paper and thrown it on the ground thinking, "oh, the janitor will clean it up."  Well, that's how I used to think.
Not anymore though, have no fear.  Yes, I know I am getting paid to pick up your trash. BUT, there is such a thing as courtesy.
Now, I have to clean the lounge and two classrooms in the Clyde Building, the engineering building.  There are some ups and downs to this.
Downs:
It's on the opposite end of campus.  Therefore, I wake up at 4:30 to ensure I get to work on time. (It takes me a while to focus my brain to get dressed and put on shoes.  My mind is still in dream mode when I'm first waking up.)
It's the engineering building.  Sadly, BYU lacks female engineers.  Therefore, there are a bunch of men walking around the Clyde building.  I vacuum really loudly, and I feel bad because I know they are trying to study.  It's also a bunch of men that I have to see at 5AM, which isn't exactly one's prime time of the day.

Ups:
It's a pretty easy cleaning job.  I take out trash.  Disinfect tables and whiteboards.  I vacuum.  Every day I do this, and I think I've established a routine.
The job is chill and pretty relaxed.  The hardest part is staying awake, really.
It's helping me manage my time more -- I've found that I've been a lot more productive!

I think I want to take a nap soon.

Happy Late Birthday Arizona!

 Happy (late) 100th Birthday Arizona! (Arizona's birthday is February 14th.  There's this other holiday on that day...but this one obviously overshadows it ;))

Last night, I was talking to Karina about the beauty of different states.  Karina's from Colorado, which, from what I can tell from the pictures, is a beautiful state. Green, mountains, lakes, and plains, it's gorgeous. I won't disagree that Colorado is beautiful, but when Karina then said, "Sorry, Emma. But Arizona is just butt ugly." 

I'll be honest, when I first moved to Arizona I didn't think it was the most beautiful place...there's hardly any green.  There's a lot of dirt and sagebrush.  But Arizona is my home. It's where I'm from, and I have learned to appreciate it's unique beauty as I've lived there.  I love green, hilly places and I love the fall. Winter is beautiful in other places. But Arizona has a unique beauty and culture that I have grown to love as I've grown up there.

First of all, watch an Arizona sunset; it is stunning.

Cactus are pretty cool too, not very many states have cacti around. 

The red rock is very pretty; many people come to Sedona for retreats and such to admire the beauty there.

Of course, the Grand Canyon, which you can see from space, it's that amazing. (Confession: I've never actually been there. I better add that to my bucket list.)

Lots of people come to Arizona for winter, because winter in Arizona is heavenly. (For all my Arizona friends that think it's "cold" there...you're mistaken.)

Now don't get me wrong, the sagebrush can get old, but moments like these pictures make me appreciate Arizona's own kind of beauty.  Happy Birthday Arizona. I miss you, and I won't see you for a long while, but you will always be home.

Why Roommates, Tape, and Cell Phones are Creepy

First of all, the reason I am writing about this is because I have decided that I am going to have to laugh at it eventually. So, here's my story. Short version.

Over the break, some random person texted me. He said he knew me, that Hannah had given him my number. We had met at the football game, and talked about the crocodile hunter. (Apparently...) I didn't pay much attention, I figured it was the wrong number or the wrong Emma or something.  Next thing I know, he's adding me on facebook.  He has one friend, which was fishy right away.  I figured this was a joke and I let it go.

A couple weeks later, after yoga with Ellie, I get a text from him.  All it contained was this picture: 

Karina tied up with tape over her mouth.
Scary? I think yes.

Naturally, I was legitimately creeped out.  Karina claimed that he said he knew me, and that he wanted to tie her up as an inside joke.  I had never met him before, and now he's sending pictures to me of my roommate tied up! This had gone too far.  I look on Facebook, he had moved from 1 to 16 friends, 2 of which are myfriends from Chandler Prep.

I figured someone was playing a prank on me, (cough cough, my roommates...) and I tried getting out of them who was pranking me.  They all played dumb, laughing at my spaz attacks. 

Yes, I am gullible.  I realize this. But...still.

I suspected one of my roommates, (who shall not be named out of protection :) ) and I suspected her brother.  I looked up the random number on the BYU directory, and sure enough, they matched.

Yes, laugh all you want. It's such a funny joke, what a genius idea... NOT! Don't pull this prank on your little sister's friends, because they might very well file a police report (which I almost did, by the way...).

Revenge still has to be taken.  Nothing this psychologically mean of course, but something funny and practical.

I know, I should take the high road.

But, seriously...I have to show that although I am gullible and easily confused, I won't stand for this :)

If you have any good prank ideas, please message me on facebook :) Thank you!